Sun Moon Stars Girl )-(

Welcome to my little place to vent…

My parents totally surprised me! After my parents paid for my flight out in October, I told them I didn’t want any gifts for Christmas. Not only did my parents let us borrow their car(s) for the ENTIRE time we were on the east coast (and that including letting us take their Trail Blazer up to Maine so we wouldn’t have to rent a car, and in essence saved us about $450), but then they also did end up giving me a couple presents.

This was the biggest thing. I totally did not expect to be receiving my tiara from my parents for Christmas! I also now have (coming in the mail) the rest of the bridal undergarments I will be needing for my fittings! The only major thing I have left to get (before my fittings) are my shoes, which I will be buying courtesy of a gift certificate from Kris’s parents. With that gift certificate, I’ll probably also get a pair of small stud earrings to wear in my second hole to compliment the earrings my mom already gave me as a birthday present, as well as a cartilage earring. I’m so surprised and happy!

While up visiting Kris’s family (and might I say we have a lovely time this year!), Kris, his mom and dad, and I worked together to design our very own ‘Save the date’ cards. I’m not going to spoil the wording because they will be in the mail hopefully in a few weeks, but while talking about the different types of flowers we could use, the phrasing came to me. Kris’s mom thought it was really cute, and of course I agree. The type is pretty much set, as well as the species of flowers that will be on the cards. I’m looking forward to the artwork that will go on them, since Kris’s mom (Donna) will be doing it!

To sum up - Kris and I had dinner on our way to his parents’ house in Maine with our friends Dave, Norma, and Natalie. We had a great time - Natalie is so lovely and mature - she’s going to make a great flower girl.

We got to hear about Dave’s coffee-roasting stories, and he gave us some of the decaf holiday spice roast to try and share with our families. I can’t wait because I don’t usually like coffee, but Dave’s is wonderful. I’m really happy we got to see them because we haven’t since we left for California, and they’re really nice. Yay!

Natalie’s Roastery - if you’re interested in trying the greatest coffee ever!

Another wedding task - meeting with the florist. We headed over after a brief stop at our reception hotel, and Kris met Gina Martin, who is super and took us on a(nother) tour of the hotel.

First I should say that this was more daunting of a task than I’d first imagined, but Catherine Cotter, our wonderful florist at Somerset Hills Florist (also not in Somerset Hills, but close to our hotel in Basking Ridge), was wonderfullly nice and so helpful! I’m looking forward to working with her over the next few months.

I’d decided a few things a while back. First of all, absolutely no roses. They’re everywhere - and to me, they’re no longer the “it” flower. I guess now they’re a “classic” look, but I want a lot of this wedding to be slightly different than the norm. So my bouquet will instead contain blue and purple irises, which are my favorite flower. Continuing with the “traditions” I’m including stephanotis (the “wedding flower”) in my bouquet. It will most likely look like a combination of the two bouquets to the right.

I’d also decided that hydrangeas would be a perfect flower to use, since its many ranges of color include periwinkle. Since I also know from my science background the range of these colors goes from blue to pink (depending on the acidity of the soil they are grown in), I thought this would be another great way to coordinate my maids without making them look like badly-made duplicates. They’ll all be carrying the same flower, with the main difference being the color (sort of like these bouquets to the left): Laura will have the pink hydrangeas, while Jerilyn has the purple and Valerie the blue. Their bouquets will be flushed out with blue dyed Bombay orchid (another favorite of mine) and volkenfreiden to tie them together. All the bouquets will be round and tied together with a platinum ribbon. We’re not allowed to throw anything in the church, so the flower girl will be carrying a white silk-covered basket with an arrangement of her own. The remainder of the important women will be wearing some sort of corsage. Those details will be ironed out later.

The men will all have boutonnieres of hybrid blue delphinium, and Kris will be distinguished from them, but matching me with a boutonniere also containing stephanotis. Simple enough, right?

Not done yet! There’s still the decorations for the ceremony and reception, not to mention the aisle runner! Can we use the paper one or must we use the linen? We’ve to to talk to the church to decide! How many pews are in the church? How many and what kind of decorations do we want? I’d like something simple, but I’d also like to try to save some money and split costs with another wedding on the same day at the church. The problem there is that so far Kris and my wedding is the only one that day! We decided, for the time being, on something simple, clean lines, and white. Probably a few pews with flowers, and alternating pews with bows or just left plain (the church is too big to decorate every single pew). As far as the reception, I wanted something low and small for the tables, so that guests can see over it and still be able to talk to one another. I guess there’s still a lot to decide but we have some major things worked out, and I’m sure Catherine will be helpful. All we have to do now is send her a deposit!

Wow…I should really let Kris and Ray write this post because their version of this story would be so much better. The experience at the tux shop was…an experience!

First, Kris and I were able to find the tuxedo shop no problem as soon as we entered the mall at approximately 9:30. Unfortunately, while the mall itself opened briskly at 9:00 AM, the tux shop’s hours started at 10, and our appointment was not until 11. We did need to complete some Christmas shopping, and we had not yet heard from Ray, so Kris and I wandered around until about 10:30. We went back to the store, hoping to get started on the tuxedo selection process early, but there was now a sign in the window stating the store would be open at 10:45, and there was still no sign of Ray, so I gave him a call. Luckily he was almost at the mall, and arrived just as the tuxedo shop was finally due to open.

The doors finally open, the three of us walk in, and are promptly greeted. “I’m finishing up with this gentleman right now, I’ll be with you shortly.” “We have an appointment at 11,” I say.

A few minutes later we were finally invited in, and Robert introduced himself. We went through some of the quick, “When’s your wedding, what time, what location,” and filled out some paperwork. As I finished this up, Robert says, “Well, I have some questions for the bride,” at which point he starts the rapid-fire rehearsed speech. “Have you decided what the bridesmaids will be wearing?” Me: “Um, sort of…” “Well, do you know what color?” Me: “Um, yeah, p….pe-ri-win-kle…” As SOON as I’d said it, I knew I shouldn’t have! I tried to continue with, “But we want the guys to wear platinum…” but of course the speech was already in full swing. I should have said platinum - girls be warned!!!

At this moment, the cardboard poster of the bridal party, conveniently also wearing periwinkle. “See how lovely they match!” Obstacle one is overcome almost right away. “No way are they/we wearing periwinkle,” the three of us say almost in unison. Robert tries to convince us to have the groomsmen in periwinkle, so that Kris may stand out in platinum. Or how about a white vest for the groom? I think the following was the best part of the morning. Robert exclaims, “Picture this scenario! What if the friend of the cousin of the photographer needs to find the groom? How will he stand out? He must be dressed in a different color!” I tried to explain, “We were thinking of having Kris’s boutonniere be different…” which is completely lost in the panic from Robert. “The groom should compliment the bride…be virginal in color…a white vest would be perfect.”

So we look at the dummy model: with a white vest and white bowtie; a white vest and platinum bowtie, a platinum vest and white bowtie. Nothing really looks good together except the platinum vest and bowtie combo. We finally, finally, decide, and more importantly convince Robert that this is what we want on ALL THE MEN, and he says, “I went through this whole thing to make sure that’s really what you wanted!” Frustrated, we were able to FINALLY move on.

We went pretty quickly through the next few items:
Shirts: 1/4″ pleat or 1/2″ pleat? - “No pirate shirts, we want the 1/4 inch pleats!”
Shoes: Square toe or rounded? - Square (wider for all!)
Neckpiece: Tie or Bowtie? - The Bowtie
Tuxedo jacket: 1-button, 2-button, or 3-button? - 2-button

Now to the fittings - the important reason why we’re all here. We needed to finish up post-haste as we were due down the shore to meet with my cousin, so we could meet her youngest son, Anthony, who will be our ring bearer. We had a bit more difficulty with Robert as he organized the last of our paperwork, and measured the men. Ray gave an accurate measurement, but Robert didn’t believe him until Ray had tried on three different jackets. Kris looked so handsome, even in the trial jacket because I’ve never seen him really dressed up. Our final item of business at the tux shop was to make sure our bridal party could get fitted at a shop close to them, and that Kris knows to set up a “non-billable try-on” when we’re in town again.

We did make it in time to visit with my cousin. We went over to her house and Kris got to meet her husband, and both of us met their three little boys. I’m so excited to continue the “tradition.” I’ll explain for anyone who hasn’t had the benefit of this story before. Denise isn’t actually MY cousin, in fact, her MOTHER is MY mother’s cousin. Yes, we have a very large Italian family. Anyway, her mom and mine have enough of a difference in age that Denise was already old enough to be a flower girl by the time my mom got married. Then when Denise got married, my sister was a flower girl in her wedding. So now it’s my turn to continue, with her youngest son as the ring bearer in my wedding. I’m a fan of strange traditions, and this is probably the first of many that will be incorporated into Kris and my wedding.

In case any of the men in my bridal party need this information:
You can go to any After Hours store near (in NJ) you to get fitted. In Maine the affiliate is Mr. Tux.
You’ll need to get measured and have them send the measurements for the Marciniak Wedding to the After Hours Store in the Bridgewater Commons Mall in Bridgewater, NJ. Their phone number is: (908) 252-9772 Contact Robert Rodriguez.
The price of the tuxedo rental is $139.35 total (this includes everything: the vest, bowtie, shoes, and tax). You will need to give a $20 deposit at the time you get fitted. The remainder of $119.35 is due when we pick up the tuxedos on Thursday, August 9th.
If you’d like to make sure your size is correct (and the shop recommends we have you all do this), schedule a non-billable try-on a week or two before the wedding.

Here’s some pictures of what the men will be wearing:

Our first item of business once in NJ for Christmas vacation was for both Kris and I to meet with Father Paladino. We took care of some paperwork, with a bit of an interview-style questionnaire about us and the sacrament of marriage. Finally, we were off to take the FOCCUS Inventory. It’s a set of statements pertaining to topics including spirituality, finances, offspring, sex, and drugs/alcohol. Each person is given the booklet, an answer sheet, and a number 2 pencil - yup, just like standardized tests (SATs, GREs, etc). Then we were put in separate rooms to fill in our answers. There were about 75 statements that “everyone” has to answer, and then 3 sections for “special situations” in our version with about 15 statements each. We had to answer two of them - for remarrying couples, and for couples that co-habitate. This sounds easy enough, but remember your answers are “agree,” “disagree,” or “uncertain,” and you have to read the statements carefully or you might end up answering in a way you did not intend to.

I finished first, and joked with our pastor about not knowing how to answer the questions about raising children from a previous marriage (since there aren’t any), and about a minute later Kris came in and said almost the exact same thing. Then the pastor joked that we could discuss our answers now; “What did you put for statement ______?” Of course in the car straight after leaving we did. One of the statements both of us were unsure about answering was, “I can only be happy if I’m married.” Since we aren’t married yet, both of us answered “disagree,” but this and some of the other statements we definately had to think about for a couple minutes.

I’m also extremely happy to say that when we saw Father Paladino later after mass, he said to us, “In the fifteen years I have given the FOCCUS Inventory, you two scored the highest! In fact, in the ‘key factors’ section, you two matched 100%.” I remarked, “Well, we have talked a lot about many of those items already,” to which Father Paladino replied, “It’s obvious that you have.” Kris and I almost feel like we cheated, but we didn’t know what the statements would be. I guess this is a really good sign of our life together right now, and to come!